A tongue-in-cheek view of what real friendship means to me…
noun: the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. “old ties of love and friendship”
You get each other
Neither would she urge you to splash cash on something which indeed hides all the wobbly bits but looks like an embellished floral sack.
She reminds you, you are a jeans and tee kind of girl and to buy a new lippie instead. And then she treats you to that new lippie to cheer you up.
Friendship is thoughtful
She makes you a mixtape/CD for your birthday of all of your favourite old tunes. It takes her hours. She knows every single song you love.
You cruise around Norfolk together and end up driving a hundred mile round trip, just so you can hear the complete playlist and sing every single word together. She even handmakes the album cover and forfeits a date night, so she can get it finished on time.
You have similar interests but nothing in common. You just click. Friendship means everything. Your friend relies on you as much as you do on her. She doesn’t care if you rattle on about crap or talk about yourself in times of need, as long as you return the favour when she’s needing a shoulder to lean/cry/be sick on (and you don’t care).
You do all sorts together
Friendship means you can share a changing area at the spa half dressed and chat away comfortably without a care in the world. You discuss the soaps, weather, latest face masks to hit the stores (and how yes you would pay £100 for something if it works) and your new favourite pasta recipe. Even if it does involve a jar.
And make plans
Friends plan trips together. Whether it’s to the club or the Caribbean. Friends compromise. Some more than others. Friends give sound advice. They don’t let you down.
We’ve all had boy trouble. More often than not a great mate will arrange a night out to cheer you up. You slap more makeup on than ever before, hitch your skirt up a little (it makes your legs look longer – right?) and walk down the street with a new found confidence.
The night ends where you all get pissed as farts, laugh till you cry, fall over in the street, break a heel (from the new shoes especially bought for the occasion) and finish the night with chips or a kebab at around 4am.
You cry in the taxi on the way home, she convinces you ‘yes you still are beautiful and it’s his loss’ and what a ‘creep’ he was anyway.
Hell, you’re better off without him. You wake late the following morning where it feels like Bon Jovi, Meatloaf and Justin Timberlake are having a party inside your head.
Bon Jovi tells you to love this loser ‘Always’. Meatloaf, to leave like ‘A Bat Out of Hell’ and Justin, well let’s just say he told you to ‘Cry A River’ and then truly restored any lost confidence claiming you truly are a ‘Senorita’.
You politely and with regret
ask tell them to leave.
After a dose of mega-strength ibuprofen and bacon and eggs on toast you feel more like yourself.
You forget the loser who has broken your heart, head and hi-fi, vaguely remember the hundreds of selfies you have taken the previous night and have a good old chuckle with your mate who camped on the floor.
The selfies are in fact amazing, you scan through them and remember that ‘yes you are a Goddess and no man is worthy of you anyway’. God, that new Dior lip gloss looks amazing! so 3D like. Lush!
I can confirm the music stars have now officially left the building (your head).
A true friendship is not toxic. It’s completely safe. And familiar. You share a bed on holiday. She doesn’t care if you’re legs are on the bristly side or if you’ve fake tanned or moisturised.
Your pal doesn’t care if you’ve put on weight and will let you have the last slice of cake (even if it’s her favourite). She doesn’t care if you’re slimmer or heavier than her, to her you’re pretty damn perfect.
She’ll search out the most perfect birthday present for you and will go to the ends of the earth to find it. Then it’ll be something pretty special or something you would have bought/planned for yourself.
Real friends hold a special place in your heart. You cannot imagine them ever not being there. Life without them would be unbearable.
You can call a real mate at any time of the day. Even if she’s getting down to business with her partner or otherwise engaged. She’ll take that call. And come running if you need help.
Has your best interests at heart
A true friend is never in competition, wishes you well with everything and truly cares. They are kind and prone to being emotional when you are upset or in pain. They somehow feel it too.
True pals are there whatever. You still go to lunch at your favourite brasserie, if you’re not flush she’ll treat you. True pals do not split the bill evenly down to the last penny, you take it in turns from one lunch out to the next.
It can hurt
Friendship is unedited. Sometimes friendship sucks.
You have to work at it. Apologise if you’re wrong, send a bunch of her favourite flowers, invite her round and put the kettle on. Attempt to cook tea. Which when it fails, you both laugh constantly, embrace and order an Hawaiian with extras. Then you split the bill. Friend pays £10.00, you £2.75, you’ve not been to the cashpoint in ages.
Friends are bloggers. Facebook ‘fake’ friends no thank you. I don’t just want some stats on a page. Friends are interested in you. They genuinely want nothing in return.
Have I missed anything? I’d love to know your take on friendship…